There's Something About You.

"Ride Wit Me" - Nelly
"Kiss My Sass" - Cobra Starship
"Mother We Just Can't Get Enough" - New Radicals

It's 7:15 on a Friday night and things feel OK.
I'm happy. I feel good.

I'm doing some homework.
Nina decided I was a good tutor so I get 12 bucks an hour 2 days a week.

This goodness isn't all to say I've forgotten, because I definitely haven't.
That bugs me. I don't want to remember.
All it is is a reminder of past happiness that I don't have at the moment.
Awful.

I got my new clothes last weekend and I'm satisfied.
I love getting complements on them; makes me feel like I've done something right.
Not to mention over the past few months I've become increasingly interested in fashion, photography, modeling, and art pieces.
I like the finer things in life; it's just the way I am.
I wouldn't go as far as say "materialistic", but hey, a girl likes to look her best.

I love knowing that I'm not rude (or atleast don't try to be) and try to pass on my smiles.
My biggest goal is to make a small difference in people's lives for the better.
Seeing laughter gives me a huge rush of happiness and joy.
It's cheesy and pretty obvious, but it's true and nothing gives a more amazing feeling.

My room is a fuckin' mess and I need to clean it up.
Clean atmosphere leads to an uncluttered mind.

Hm.
I guess that's all this Alex has to say;
See you next time.

Loves & Fears; Smiles & Tears.

The Overrated Truth of Deception.

The constant banter between rain and shine has become tiresome; why can't the younger sibling win the battle?

It would be fun to dance and run and play in the rain.

Even if I was just by myself with a song playing in the back of my head...

The wet shivers just make me smile with a sense of wonder and amusement.

Why can't everyday rain?

"& I take it just a little bit; I hold my breath and count to ten; I've been waiting for a chance to let you in... If I just breathe with no space between, I'll know everything is alright."

"It's all so overrated, not saying how you feel... So you end up watching chances fade and wondering what's real."


All You Wanted - Michelle Branch
Breathe - Michelle Branch
Everywhere - Michelle Branch

Why Michelle Branch today?
I'm not sure.
Just feelin' it.
She's calm. Today was pretty calm.

Quote of the day/week: "It's not that big of a deal. Don't make it a big deal." - Alex Gray
Don't stress every little thing out. Just... breathe. Think rationally, please. That's all that needs to be done.

I have a crush on a boy.
Well, maybe it's not a crush.
Maybe I just want boys to like me because I need a self esteem boost.
Is that too much? Is that considered vein?
I hope not. It's just a personal thought.

You know, I'm glad my parents are divorced.
It's horrible to say, but if they were together things would be pretty.. for lack of a better word, shitty.
Things happen for a reason.
All things happen for a reason.
Or maybe I'd just like to believe so because it gives me hope for better things to come.
People need hope.
Hope is good in most cases; unless it's false, then I get a little upset.

Overall, life is good.
I love the smiles.
I'm being negligent to my studies, but that's normal.
I probably should pick it up, though, or things might get ugly.

I think my greatest fear is to be alone.
I hate being alone.
I'm terrified.
I can't stand the silence and only sometimes can I tolerate it. (That being when I'm rather down).
Anyways.

I hate to stop watching Heroes when I got down to the very last episode of the first season.
Bummer, right?
Yeap.

I'm kind of tired of bringing the cupcakes to school, but I love making them and making people happy to eat them.
You feel me?
Good.

I think all I want to do is to be in love.
To be loved by another so deeply that things are comfortable in my mind.
So things feel complete and eventful even when nothings really going on.
Hmm.

& last, but not least:
I love Nickolai for making me happy when nobody else can.
When I'm crying for all that I'm worth and am pretty much incomprehensible.
I'm sorry that I was blind to kindness when all I wanted was the approval of somebody who wasn't even worth it & for being ignorant and naive to lies and deceit.
Thank you. For everything.
I could never repay you for all of the nice things that you did for me just because you cared.

Wonderland.

My, what a big ego you have.

5 days later & I feel good!
I feel wonderful.
Last night there was a family episode, but whatever.
Other than that... Things are... Newly beautiful.

Plans for this weekend?
Not much.
+ Going to the gym both days.
+ Probably going for a walk, just because.
+ I'll go see Alice if somebody hits me up about it. I might even go if nobody hits me up about it.
+ Work on some homework, mainly the Mitchell essay. (I know, miracles do happen).
+ Collect $50 from my mother from the accumulated last 3 weeks.
+ Laundy.
+ Refresh my iTunes.
+ Maybe I'll go to Michaels and get a new canvas to work on.
+ Make more cupcakes.
+ Actually, I take that back, I'll probably go get some tapers. This is gonna hurt.

Sounds good, right?
I think so.
Of course, things might not happen and new things might replace them, but for now it sounds good.

Not much more to say, kids.
Overall, I'm doing swimmingly.
Just thought I'd share.

Loves & Fears, Smiles & Tears.

This picture is from Amy Lynn Photography;
To see more: http://www.facebook.com/amylynnphotography
or http://www.myspace.com/spinningheartsphotography
Beautiful, ehh?

All & Nothing.

Hey, sweety-pie.

Photography credits; Scophy.com

Diana Tang;
You're some pretty cute shit, Darlin'.
Just shaying.

Mmm: We Should Whisper is good.
Check him out.

I'm drinking Mucho Mango Arizona Iced Tea.
Good? I think so.

Please wake me up when this is all over so I can get back to sanity.
You loved me, I loved you.
Now you don't love me, but I still love you.
I'm sorry, but you suck. Royally.
I need to get my shit in check.
This is starting to get ridic.
You ignore me, it's probably for the best, but of course I'm still upset. Maybe it's the whole first love bullshit.
Ugh. I hate cliche, just like Ms. Mitchell and most English teachers do.
I hate being involved in cliche. A typical cliche.

I talk about it too much.
I should abjure (psychedelic word, huh?) the whole situation altogether.
Make it non-existent.
Wait for something even more beautiful to catch my eye.
Yeap. Mhm. That's it...
Al;sdkfj;sdfsld;f;sdfsd.
Excuse me.

I think in time of grief in any kind, girls retreat to the infamous:
Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Prove me wrong, I dare you.

"But when this is over and done with and we walk away, there should be no doubts."
-Beauty In the Breakdown (The Scene Aesthetic)